So, there it is in a nutshell. I have basically tried every trick I know in hopes of getting it to work, but every time I thought I was close, I felt ...yself getting farther away.That’s when you start running into diminishing returns. When what you really need is a break ... but you try to plow through it anyway.Thus my raging frustration at the top of this chapter.Silly? Melodramatic? Maybe.But, it’s my cross to bear.Thank you for letting me get it out.If there is one silver lining in all of. For now, at least. Maybe you’ll take my job when I’m gone.’ ‘What do you mean, when I’m gone?’ she asked. Her thoughts echoed her words, but also flashed panic, and fear that she needed me to stick around long enough to get her dissertation data. ‘Jessie,’ I asked, ‘if we were to shift our focus to getting your dissertation data, how soon could you be done?’ She was doing mental arithmetic, I didn’t need my hat to tell me that although it confirmed it. She came up with a number, if all we did. I found some Ground beef in the Freezer, a can of red beans, a bag of instant dried brown rice, and a can of crushed tomato sauce in the cabinet.I knew that Ruth had kept dried onion flakes in her spice rack. So I spent the afternoon making a kind of Mexican dish. It would have no name, like the spaghetti western movie of the 1960’s. How did I know about spaghetti westerns, I asked myself.I cooked it most of the afternoon. Even though half the shit was precooked. All except the ground beef and. It soon turns into a two-person conversation, even more when I get to my quick anecdotes about the play, the one shared experience that we have. I get my wish, because she laughs hard and often.“What a theatre nazi you are, dude,” she says. “You've ruined them beyond repair.”“I just succeeded. I succeeded too well.”“They'll never recover.”“Learning's all about repetition. I stand by my ways. Meisner technique all the way.”“Oh, you STAND by your ways. Unapologetically.”We stay on the subject of.
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